a.face.for.the.name.Che'.

my. photographer.
Nicole Kerr

those.who.do.not.comprehend.the.character.of.God.do.not.comprehend.themselves.

 Che' here.

{The tantrum in my mind}

 I've bandied together a lot of ambitions (obviously-yes I know).

One of them that I failed to acknowledge (because I was still formulating it in my noggin), is recognizing my self worth more and I mention down at the bottom of this blog a [life list] that has "learn all I possibly can" on it.

That being said my Institute class has been a Godsend-literally.

Part of what spawned this goal has been um, this.. ENTIRE year.

I can explain most of the smashups and unfortunate events that have occurred these last 9 months (all year) on me not conceiving who I am in an eternal perspective. Maybe that MISunderstanding comes from a lack of faith, not enough hope, or other self imposed limits. [Perhaps a triple whammy.] But the point is it's been one of the most trying years of my life, and I thought that I understood who I WAS and AM really well. Confusions run rampant, and I haven't been making the best possible decisions for myself, because I haven't been making them in the BEST possible way.

Hard to explain.

In class the last couple of weeks we've discussed the Plan of Salvation, God's Character and Satans, and Discipline vs. Disposition. I'm going to try and make this make sense. It's what I've learned about my own self worth that I really didn't understand before (and maybe you haven't understood either).

disclaimer- what I write next is my own understanding of the subject material.

Before we were given spirits we were just intelligence, which in itself is an entity. No one created it. It just was. Each intelligence had a different capacity to become something. Some could only become a rock, tree, or animal, and others could become human beings and from there received a spirit (which is separate from intelligence). While in the pre-mortal life there were laws that were set up by God (so it's likely that we all sinned while we were up there- something that I'd never really thought about) We studied and grew, and our intelligence because it has a mind of it's own focused on particular things. We talked about how Mozart's must have involved music, Einstein math, etc. And once down here these people tapped into that and discovered their talents and aptitudes that they produced while in the pre-mortal,  and became the icons that they have. In essence ( I think) they discovered a part of their potential. We discussed how all the prophets that ever were, are and will be focused on spirituality (this as a talent was not something I'd ever really thought about either). Keep in mind that only a few of those up there studied, grew, and were obedient enough to be called "noble and great ones".

That leads us to getting a body. Because even though we probably transgressed while up there, we obviously chose more right than wrong because we're here on Earth.

We talked about how once down here it was our responsibility to tap into those talents and spiritual gifts that we worked on. This is where Satan comes in to try and destroy us. AND gives us a terrible disadvantage with ALL the odds stacked against us.

Consider:

If we were all in the pre-mortal life, then we probably all knew each other, studied together, grew to different levels with each other. Not just the people that chose to go with God's plan, but also Satans. We knew him, and not only that, his followers knew us to. We know that right? This seems like pretty basic stuff. But get this. If they knew us then they understood our strengths and weaknesses, in short, our potential. Yeah yeah, I know what you're thinking.. DUH Chels. But seriously you guys once we recieved a body we also had our eyes covered with the veil. And the others DID NOT. We do not know our potential- BUT THEY DO. We don't understand all our weaknesses- BUT THEY DO. And for me the most important understanding came from this: I also don't know or understand all my strengths- BUT THEY DO.

I was thinking about this, and the gifts, talents and aptitudes that I have (you should think about yours). Gifts that maybe I didn't realize WERE gifts. When I think about it, it's quite easy to see the areas of my life that I OBVIOUSLY didn't spend much time on developing before. Math for instance has always been an obstacle along with Chemistry, Biology, anything that involves formulas and numbers I don't have much smarts for. Cooking is another one (that makes sense because there's lots of chem and numbers in cooking). But then there are things that I KNOW I'm good at. Athletics for one, colors, organizing, anything that has to do with English as a language but also reading and writing. Art (sketching in particular), musical things, etc.

But I started thinking about a gift I have that is the most important to me, and to everyone that comes in contact with me (even if they-or you- don't know it). I don't want to go to far into it here because it's extremely precious and sacred to me (and if there's anything I've learned from what we've been talking about in class, it's that we SHOULD keep these special things close to us- share them of course-but take care of them), but the point is I've only ever considered it a GIFT which means something good and essentially a strength, I guess I thought that because it was gift there was no way it could be corrupted? Or at LEAST it would be very difficult to do so, and OBVIOUS if the adversary tried- but then the last 9 months crept into my head and I realize now that quite possibly I thought wrong.

I think Satan playing to our STRENGTHS is more dangerous than playing to our WEAKNESSES because those are something we'd expect him to zone in on.Think about the gifts, qualities, and special things you've been given. Are you keeping them safe? Or you taking care of them? Are you appreciating them? Are you expanding them? Do you even KNOW what they are?

If the adversary is working hard on you, it's probably because you're doing really well, or on the verge of finding some kind of new knowledge. If he's working on you, it's almost a compliment in a backwards kind of way because he knows how strong you are- he KNOWS your potential. Keep that in mind the next time you feel beaten down, discouraged or worthless.

You've been given gifts. You have gifts that you haven't discovered yet. And your intelligence can change.

Just something to think about.

calling.cards.

{Yes} It's the bona fide truth. We basically back handed and slapped silly an item off our ledger this evening. (If your too slow to not realize which one it is by now, you certainly have no business being here. I'll wait quietly while you navigate to a different and hopefully distant part of the internet.)

...waiting...

Gone? Brilliant.

Now. Karrie's pretty thrilled about this whole congruence. Marooning innocent calling cards in various niches has a slight criminal and teenybopper ambience. I guess that's what causes Karrie to be lured to the idea. But I'm not judging it, just how I didn't judge her when she told me she and her "friends" stayed up for the midnight release of a "BackStreet Boys" CD in high school-she just wants to "give back" by being an inspiration. And who can blame her!? If there's one thing I've learned in the last while it's that it's what you give that makes you beautiful. So hopefully Karrie will be able to hand out enough of these suckers to accomplish that. But I won't be holding my breath. In fact I have a whole list of things that would be more worth my time.

said list:

um. breathing.

watching grass grow

blinking

milking a goat

petting a goat

turning around

swallowing

Alright alright, it would be disingenuous if you believed that I didn't enjoy myself a little. And while this is something that I suspect will have to be ongoing, the triumphant feeling of checking something OFF is definitely worth it. (I suspect this is K's first time experiencing such a vibe, so let's all make sure to smile and nod in her direction.)

BEHOLD:

So that's that. Moving on to more get to know you stuff. 3 seems to be the true-to-type number, so I'm mixing it up a little. REBEL! REBEL! REBEL! Tonight I'll leave you with 4.

-I quite enjoy the taste of charcoal. That being said it makes sense that burnt meals, snacks, any type of cookery is RIGHT up my alley. I purposefully burn popcorn, toast, meat, marsh mellows, vegetables, you name it. If it's blackened, I'll snarf it, probably because I look like it.

-Out of the norm things make me want to [vomit;] the smell of metal, people cracking their necks, shoes that squeak, the THOUGHT of breaking a bone, drooling or gleeking, spiders. Put any of these things in my path and I'll be looking for a trash can. Seriously.

-I toss or turn {whichever makes sense to YOU} 5 times before falling asleep. ONLY 5, every night.

-I made an agreement when I was 15-16 yrs old that I would give my friend Emily my first born child because she wants brown children (who DOESN'T?). I promised my 2nd to Nicole. The 3rd one will be mine.

To you K.

the.waiting.room

In every hospital and doctor's office there is a waiting room, that is where we are left to wait until fate takes hold and we are given the answer to what the rest of the life of you or a loved one may be like.  Once we are in the waiting room we know just enough information to make us anxious but not enough to know what the future holds.  I have recently realized that I am stuck in the waiting room of life and have been for quite some time...now as cheesy as that sounds I want you (the general public, not so much you Chelsea) to take a look at your own life or the past couple of years of your life and think of all the things you have been doing "for the future."  We go to school and we work to make money but what are we working for?  For the responsible few who are actually saving said money, what are you saving that money for?  A family?  A home someday?  Don't get me wrong, it is important to learn responsible habits and work and save money for the future, but what are we giving up when all we are working for is the "somedays?"  Why do we have to give up the "todays" for the "tomorrows?"  Alright, that was a lot of quotations and questions filled with cheese for you to ponder, but I just have one more, why can't we learn to be happy in the weird in-between stages of our lives?  I have always been the type of person to think things like "when . . . . happens I will finally be happy" but I know that if I choose to live like that then I will never be happy.  We are all on the road to the future but why can't we make a few stops along the way, ya know stop and smell the roses.  I know that Chels will have a hay day mocking this just because she is heartless and can't show emotion like I can, but I think I have made my point very clear.  

Chelsea and I got together tonight to discuss our bucket list (the one that she and I will be working for together from now until the end of 2011)  It will be posted shortly, but it is not complete, if anyone out there is reading this feel free to leave suggestions or steal ideas for your own bucket list.  

Back to you my colored friend :)

a.scandal.NOT.to.be.handled

First of all, I wanted to thank Karrie for her refined opening comments. I think we can all agree that her thoughts, like last nights leftovers, will stay with us for a very long time.

I'm about to annihilate some rules. In order for that to ensue, it would be beneficiary for ME if my audience were both ignorant and confused. Luckily, most of you are holding to that standard quite candidly so this will be a cinch. To weed out those of you that think you fit into some other category (right) I'll berid you by piling buzzwords. The average human being can only retain knowledge from  a sentence that has up to 3 acronyms. At 4 acronyms the brain starts flailing like a fish out of water. This way I'll finish the entry post before my victims (you) have decoded the first sentence. (If you find you have some kind of opinion about that statement, please feel free to share. It's just as important and valued as the next persons.)

Some of you may have noticed that certain goals have a tendency to M.T. "manage themselves", if given enough time. What I mean is that you can ignore almost everything you make a goal in life and in the long run it probably won't matter.  That's the great thing about the "long run", it's someone else's problem. Either the goal will become moot, or whoever you're letting yourself be accountable to (um. YOURSELF in most cases) will forget what you wanted to do, and someone else will do it. This method of proactive ignoring, also known as "ignorage" is both T&W {tricky and wonderful} simultaneously. I couldn't (won't) tell you how that can be. There IS however, another part to this that I'm going to call "a doozie". And I WILL tell you that THIS matters. I stumbled upon this divine little stratagem over the last several weeks while ad-libbing my bucket lists.

You see, the universe is mostly empty space, and so is your life. That's why you need to claim, as an "accomplishment", every breath, blinking of your eye, trip to town, casual conversation and bodily function you experience. No one loves you as much as you love yourself and there's absolutely NO penalty for bragging. You might even get some kind of reward if you do it right.

So here we go. The epiphany. While designing my list I realized that some of the things ON my list, and that will STAY on my list, I've already CAPPED. Yep. That just happened. I'm actually ahead of ME. This would and probably should come as a shock, but I think we've already discussed my ethnicity.

I wanted to take the time to write down some of those things, here and now before moving on:

ride.an.elephant.

have.dreadlocks.

explore.venice.italy.

kiss.someone.somewhere.weird.

humanitarian.aid.projects.

be.healed.by.a.witch.doctor.

have.a.dream.come.true.

save.a.life.

be.in.a.commercial.

meet.a.celebrity.

witness.a.miracle.

be.in.love.

visit.ground.zero.

ace.a.test.

be.in.the.newspaper.

win.a.race.and.score.a.goal.

be.picked.first.

be.picked last.

receive.a.love.note.

I also realized that quite a few things on my litany are ongoing goals. Things that can't really be checked OFF a list-until I die. Things like:

be.a.change.for.good.

always.be.worthy.of.a.temple.recommend.and.go.as.often.as.possible.

raise.kind.and.honest.children.

make.scripture.study.a.life.long.habit.

work.at.my.weaknesses.until.they.become.strengths.

develop.a.constant.eternal.perspective.

learn.all.I.possibly.can.

have.an.enjoyable.life.

be.a.good.friend.daughter.sibling.spouse.mother.and.citizen.

always.serve.

have.a.successful.marriage.

attain.financial.stability.

stop.and.smell.the.roses.along.the.way.

go.on.one.humanitarian.aid.trip.a.year.

learn.humility.

judge.righteously.

be.repentant.

laugh.and.smile.often.

It's getting a little complicated.

So this is what I decided. I'm going to make a couple drop down lists (not today, because I doubt I'll find the time), because I feel that all of these things are important. One list will be for things I want to accomplish this year that CAN be crossed off a list. One for 2011-the same idea. (both of these lists will probably include Karrie) And then ongoing goals for myself that really can't be evaluated at this point in time, but that are still extremely important to me (see above). I'd just like the reminder for what I'm really going for in life.

So that's my plan.

Unless Karrie can think of something more awesome that I could do? Let me know!

And now on to some more "get to know you" stuff.  So here we go, three more fun facts about Che'.

-I don't understand people that cry over books and movies. The first and only time I've ever cried in either of those things was "Mighty Joe Young", the part where the gorilla falls off the ferris wheel. Yeah. I would. Go figure. But I was 9 people. Seriously. I honestly laughed when "Lord of the Rings" ended, giggled in "Titanic", and was completely unaffected (at least my eyes were) by "My Sisters Keeper". I don't understand it. The other day I heard my friend Lexi say that she cried while reading the "Hunger Games". Honestly? WOWZER. We can talk about this more later if it comes up

-I also don't understand fat slurpee straws. What clown came up with THAT idea?

-This one might come as a shock to some of you. I am FOR SURE all about nature, keeping the environment clean, using energy efficiently and effectively, sustainability, lowering your carbon footprint, etc. But I think recycling is for losers. YEP. I don't see the point. Honestly. What a waste of time.

Back to Kscrib.

just.call.me.pepper

To go along with Che’s introduction of our sweet project, I was one of those people who had many big ideas but was lacking the motivation and/or courage to take control and make sure I was having all the experiences I wanted to have during my existence. I never was one to declare that I was going to “live like I was dying” or anything like that. I just wanted to have amazing experiences that would help shape the person I will become. So even though I have never lived off of some diseased rodent from the orient or wandered around Europe with a candy bar and a 20 dollar bill only to come home and claim that I was “backpacking” I feel like I have realized that to have the kind of experiences I am looking for I have to take a step into the unknown and see what life has to offer. 

Now Chelsea is right about a few things….but she is wrong about a lot more. It may be true that she has spent her freedom years out conquering the world and living her dreams and accomplishing her goals, but I have spent my freedom years making the world (or at least this community) a better place for its inhabitants, and while I have been feeding the hungry, clothing the naked and providing better homes for those who need them my bucket list was born. I have lived in a “world of pure imagination” (sung like Willy Wonka) spending my time really wondering what I want to do with myself when I muster up the courage. I don’t know if what I have now is courage, boredom or just the need for something to shake up my life, but whatever it is it’s here and you can call me pepper.

Chelsea is an active volcano….I am more like a hurricane. I start off small but when I get going I can cause some damage, I am predictable to an extent but no one is ever really sure when I will hit and they never know how hard it will be. But who wants to be compared to a natural disaster (huh Chels?) I am a lover not a fighter and definitely not a disaster.

Some more facts about me!!
(there will be a quiz later)


I love snow cones

I sing in the shower


I cry over ridiculous things (sporting events, books, tattoos, songs, ellen degeneres, etc. If you ever want details on why these things make me emotional just ask)


I love crafternoon and anything else that lets me be creative


I want to become a fisher person


I guess I might as well tell you our plan since we have been hinting at it now for two very long posts. You can probably tell from what we have said that we are out to have some fun. C-Money and I have come up with a plan, to write a list of amazing things we have always wanted to experience and jam pack them into 2011. The list is still in the works but we have a wide variety of ideas from getting our palms read to riding a camel. We are using this blog as a journal to ourselves and anyone else who may be interested or may need a kick in the pants to jump start their own lives. If you fit into either of those categories then stay tuned!

the.activation.

Most people are "optimists" (another word for stupid) when it comes to their existance and the experiences they'd like to have DURING their existance. 

I write this because while hoards of morons (i.e. individuals) create litany, conjure up ideas and plans in their sorry eggheads-OR- truly passionately declare with conviction that they're going to "live like they're dying" or the famous and worn out "carpe diem"- they never actually follow through. Oh yeah, and then times up and they're pushing daisies. Tragic. We however are 2 persistent and invigorated chums who'd like to actually live, and then die, but better. We plan on documenting (through word and photos) our adventures, travels, experiences, and all the tomfoolery that WE'VE taken the time to scribble down, conjure and declare-with gumption. [this will be shared later] And so help us, we shall achieve this.

Before we introduce ourselves, let me just say that no one's perfect.

You see, while we are but two lowly, inhabitants of earth who -in fact- need NO introduction, we absolutely INSIST upon it. I'll begin by disclosing to you (the general public or just to YOU Karrie) what impressive people we are. After that I'll illustrate (in extensive detail) all the brilliant things we've done for our community. 

Then I'll conclude by saying some things that are true.

It started as a lull. For me anyways.

And while it IS undeniable that Karrie started her bucket list long before I did and therefore it's that much more stately, I secretly attribute that to the fact that I have friends. While I was out having a social life, being productive, accomplishing goals, reaching dreams, and ultimately being a change for good in this sad world, Karrie [my sidekick] was at home. At home allowing boredom, social retardation, and slow reflexes to take root in her cerebrum, only to reappear as her "personality" later. I don't know exactly how that produced her bucket list, but I'm sure it doesn't matter.

I guess I should probably allow her to introduce herself before I give more away. 

Yeah I know. Riiiiiiight.

So let's talk about me!

ME. {The greatest thing to come out of the 80's.}

I know I know, pretty hard to believe when some highlights of the 80's include ridiculous shoelaces, Michael Jackson and yes, prozac. But I didn't ask for this, and I refuse to be persecuted for it. My name is Chelsea. But because I envy those that can shorten their name to just a few simple letters (i.e. Michael to Mike, Matthew to Matt, Brittney to Britt- you get the picture) I shall do the same. 

Henceforth I shall be Che'. 

I'm a different kind of awesome.

Let me try and explain.

If I were a natural disaster, I'd be an active erupting volcano. Sort of like how the one in Pisa Italy was years back. Come on, you know the one I'm talking about. It obliterated thousands upon thousands of people based simply on the fact that it was spontaneous and fast. The world just wasn't ready. Most of the locals (all of the locals?) where petrified instantly because of the molten ash. May they all rest in peace.  Now, I haven't killed anyone, that you know of- but I frequently take the world by surprise, like said volcanoe. To a point where bafflement, blank stares, and drooling are pretty dependable symptoms. [instant petrification]. I guess that's what happens when you're good looking also but..whatevs.

But let me ask you, have YOU ever backpacked through Italy (at 19) by yourself for a month? Didn't think so. What about lived on nothing but bamboo rat (that you had to trap, skin, and gut yourself) in the festering jungles of Thailand for several weeks? No!?

Then you've probably never been Black either. Don't feel bad, we can't all be. It's not like I think I'm superior to anyone or anything....

I'd like to write more but frankly I think the world might be a tad bit overloaded by what I've shared thus far. {and I suppose I better leave some explanation of our plan to Kbaby.} I'd like to conclude with 3 fun facts about myself {so we all can get to know each other a little better} before I turn this sucker entirely over to Karrie for her own little prologue (and I mean "little" in a literal sense).

1) First of all, I think I'm racist. And I also think it's funny. I heard a great new Black joke today compliments of my friend Nicole Kerr. What do you call the black stuff between an elephants toes? Slow natives! Ha! Get it! Yeah, so boss.

2) Next, I don't enjoy being around people that wear substandard footwear. I don't care what anyone says. Shoes are important, if you're going to wear them. If you don't have good quality shoes, please go barefoot. I'd rather see your fungus infected toenails, moles, and hairy hobbit feet then scruffy looking trainers. Seriously.

3) And lastly I have a secret desire to become a tightrope walker. 

And now to Karrie....