calling.cards.

{Yes} It's the bona fide truth. We basically back handed and slapped silly an item off our ledger this evening. (If your too slow to not realize which one it is by now, you certainly have no business being here. I'll wait quietly while you navigate to a different and hopefully distant part of the internet.)

...waiting...

Gone? Brilliant.

Now. Karrie's pretty thrilled about this whole congruence. Marooning innocent calling cards in various niches has a slight criminal and teenybopper ambience. I guess that's what causes Karrie to be lured to the idea. But I'm not judging it, just how I didn't judge her when she told me she and her "friends" stayed up for the midnight release of a "BackStreet Boys" CD in high school-she just wants to "give back" by being an inspiration. And who can blame her!? If there's one thing I've learned in the last while it's that it's what you give that makes you beautiful. So hopefully Karrie will be able to hand out enough of these suckers to accomplish that. But I won't be holding my breath. In fact I have a whole list of things that would be more worth my time.

said list:

um. breathing.

watching grass grow

blinking

milking a goat

petting a goat

turning around

swallowing

Alright alright, it would be disingenuous if you believed that I didn't enjoy myself a little. And while this is something that I suspect will have to be ongoing, the triumphant feeling of checking something OFF is definitely worth it. (I suspect this is K's first time experiencing such a vibe, so let's all make sure to smile and nod in her direction.)

BEHOLD:

So that's that. Moving on to more get to know you stuff. 3 seems to be the true-to-type number, so I'm mixing it up a little. REBEL! REBEL! REBEL! Tonight I'll leave you with 4.

-I quite enjoy the taste of charcoal. That being said it makes sense that burnt meals, snacks, any type of cookery is RIGHT up my alley. I purposefully burn popcorn, toast, meat, marsh mellows, vegetables, you name it. If it's blackened, I'll snarf it, probably because I look like it.

-Out of the norm things make me want to [vomit;] the smell of metal, people cracking their necks, shoes that squeak, the THOUGHT of breaking a bone, drooling or gleeking, spiders. Put any of these things in my path and I'll be looking for a trash can. Seriously.

-I toss or turn {whichever makes sense to YOU} 5 times before falling asleep. ONLY 5, every night.

-I made an agreement when I was 15-16 yrs old that I would give my friend Emily my first born child because she wants brown children (who DOESN'T?). I promised my 2nd to Nicole. The 3rd one will be mine.

To you K.

the.waiting.room

In every hospital and doctor's office there is a waiting room, that is where we are left to wait until fate takes hold and we are given the answer to what the rest of the life of you or a loved one may be like.  Once we are in the waiting room we know just enough information to make us anxious but not enough to know what the future holds.  I have recently realized that I am stuck in the waiting room of life and have been for quite some time...now as cheesy as that sounds I want you (the general public, not so much you Chelsea) to take a look at your own life or the past couple of years of your life and think of all the things you have been doing "for the future."  We go to school and we work to make money but what are we working for?  For the responsible few who are actually saving said money, what are you saving that money for?  A family?  A home someday?  Don't get me wrong, it is important to learn responsible habits and work and save money for the future, but what are we giving up when all we are working for is the "somedays?"  Why do we have to give up the "todays" for the "tomorrows?"  Alright, that was a lot of quotations and questions filled with cheese for you to ponder, but I just have one more, why can't we learn to be happy in the weird in-between stages of our lives?  I have always been the type of person to think things like "when . . . . happens I will finally be happy" but I know that if I choose to live like that then I will never be happy.  We are all on the road to the future but why can't we make a few stops along the way, ya know stop and smell the roses.  I know that Chels will have a hay day mocking this just because she is heartless and can't show emotion like I can, but I think I have made my point very clear.  

Chelsea and I got together tonight to discuss our bucket list (the one that she and I will be working for together from now until the end of 2011)  It will be posted shortly, but it is not complete, if anyone out there is reading this feel free to leave suggestions or steal ideas for your own bucket list.  

Back to you my colored friend :)

a.scandal.NOT.to.be.handled

First of all, I wanted to thank Karrie for her refined opening comments. I think we can all agree that her thoughts, like last nights leftovers, will stay with us for a very long time.

I'm about to annihilate some rules. In order for that to ensue, it would be beneficiary for ME if my audience were both ignorant and confused. Luckily, most of you are holding to that standard quite candidly so this will be a cinch. To weed out those of you that think you fit into some other category (right) I'll berid you by piling buzzwords. The average human being can only retain knowledge from  a sentence that has up to 3 acronyms. At 4 acronyms the brain starts flailing like a fish out of water. This way I'll finish the entry post before my victims (you) have decoded the first sentence. (If you find you have some kind of opinion about that statement, please feel free to share. It's just as important and valued as the next persons.)

Some of you may have noticed that certain goals have a tendency to M.T. "manage themselves", if given enough time. What I mean is that you can ignore almost everything you make a goal in life and in the long run it probably won't matter.  That's the great thing about the "long run", it's someone else's problem. Either the goal will become moot, or whoever you're letting yourself be accountable to (um. YOURSELF in most cases) will forget what you wanted to do, and someone else will do it. This method of proactive ignoring, also known as "ignorage" is both T&W {tricky and wonderful} simultaneously. I couldn't (won't) tell you how that can be. There IS however, another part to this that I'm going to call "a doozie". And I WILL tell you that THIS matters. I stumbled upon this divine little stratagem over the last several weeks while ad-libbing my bucket lists.

You see, the universe is mostly empty space, and so is your life. That's why you need to claim, as an "accomplishment", every breath, blinking of your eye, trip to town, casual conversation and bodily function you experience. No one loves you as much as you love yourself and there's absolutely NO penalty for bragging. You might even get some kind of reward if you do it right.

So here we go. The epiphany. While designing my list I realized that some of the things ON my list, and that will STAY on my list, I've already CAPPED. Yep. That just happened. I'm actually ahead of ME. This would and probably should come as a shock, but I think we've already discussed my ethnicity.

I wanted to take the time to write down some of those things, here and now before moving on:

ride.an.elephant.

have.dreadlocks.

explore.venice.italy.

kiss.someone.somewhere.weird.

humanitarian.aid.projects.

be.healed.by.a.witch.doctor.

have.a.dream.come.true.

save.a.life.

be.in.a.commercial.

meet.a.celebrity.

witness.a.miracle.

be.in.love.

visit.ground.zero.

ace.a.test.

be.in.the.newspaper.

win.a.race.and.score.a.goal.

be.picked.first.

be.picked last.

receive.a.love.note.

I also realized that quite a few things on my litany are ongoing goals. Things that can't really be checked OFF a list-until I die. Things like:

be.a.change.for.good.

always.be.worthy.of.a.temple.recommend.and.go.as.often.as.possible.

raise.kind.and.honest.children.

make.scripture.study.a.life.long.habit.

work.at.my.weaknesses.until.they.become.strengths.

develop.a.constant.eternal.perspective.

learn.all.I.possibly.can.

have.an.enjoyable.life.

be.a.good.friend.daughter.sibling.spouse.mother.and.citizen.

always.serve.

have.a.successful.marriage.

attain.financial.stability.

stop.and.smell.the.roses.along.the.way.

go.on.one.humanitarian.aid.trip.a.year.

learn.humility.

judge.righteously.

be.repentant.

laugh.and.smile.often.

It's getting a little complicated.

So this is what I decided. I'm going to make a couple drop down lists (not today, because I doubt I'll find the time), because I feel that all of these things are important. One list will be for things I want to accomplish this year that CAN be crossed off a list. One for 2011-the same idea. (both of these lists will probably include Karrie) And then ongoing goals for myself that really can't be evaluated at this point in time, but that are still extremely important to me (see above). I'd just like the reminder for what I'm really going for in life.

So that's my plan.

Unless Karrie can think of something more awesome that I could do? Let me know!

And now on to some more "get to know you" stuff.  So here we go, three more fun facts about Che'.

-I don't understand people that cry over books and movies. The first and only time I've ever cried in either of those things was "Mighty Joe Young", the part where the gorilla falls off the ferris wheel. Yeah. I would. Go figure. But I was 9 people. Seriously. I honestly laughed when "Lord of the Rings" ended, giggled in "Titanic", and was completely unaffected (at least my eyes were) by "My Sisters Keeper". I don't understand it. The other day I heard my friend Lexi say that she cried while reading the "Hunger Games". Honestly? WOWZER. We can talk about this more later if it comes up

-I also don't understand fat slurpee straws. What clown came up with THAT idea?

-This one might come as a shock to some of you. I am FOR SURE all about nature, keeping the environment clean, using energy efficiently and effectively, sustainability, lowering your carbon footprint, etc. But I think recycling is for losers. YEP. I don't see the point. Honestly. What a waste of time.

Back to Kscrib.